A few months ago, after a meaningful conversation about the challenges in life, I asked my client, 'How are you taking care of yourself through all of this?' This led to a discussion about real self-care—specific acts of kindness and support that embody self-compassion and self-care tips to navigate difficult times.
Without a pause, her initial response was about failed efforts to make time for the gym and healthy food. While movement and fuel are vital things, I gently clarified that I wasn’t asking about the fake “self-care” that our culture has sold us (expensive spa treatments, vacations, and wellness regimens). And I wasn’t asking about the “shoulds” that are everywhere you turn. I was asking about the seemingly small, very specific ways this person was showing herself kindness and self-compassion during a difficult time in her life.
Self-compassion, as described by psychologist Kristen Neff, involves treating ourselves with warmth and encouragement, much like we would a good friend. Incorporating self-compassion and self-care tips into our daily lives helps prevent struggle from becoming suffering and fosters resilience. In Neff’s words, “this inner support allows us to feel safe and puts us in a better frame of mind to cope with challenges or make needed changes in our lives.”
In that session, we created a list of personalized self-compassion and self-care tips to guide this client through her challenges. In the weeks that would follow, this woman's engagement with self-compassion and acts of self-care played a significant role in helping her weather the storm and move through the hard things with greater resilience.
Maybe you're dealing with your own challenges right now.
Take a moment to explore these self-compassion and self-care tips and create your own list of small, kind ways to take care of yourself.
Grab a pencil and paper and think small, think specific, and think kind.
Sharing some small and specific ideas below to give some examples and hopefully spark some ideas for your list.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
pull a favorite book from the shelf and reread it
find an animal, your own, or a neighbors, (cat at a cat cafe) and spend a few minutes connecting
light a candle
meet friends for an early morning walk (bonus is catching the sunrise)
listen to music from your first concert or favorite band from your past
sit in a swing
make time for a real breakfast
brush teeth first thing in the morning
get outside in nature even for 5 minutes
pick a new way to move your body
listen to something that fills your cup (sermon, podcast, music)
give yourself a foot massage, paint your own nails
dig your hands in the dirt, pull out weeds, plant something
stop what you are doing and find a patch of sunshine to sit in (even a minute or two matters)
wear your favorite color
make your bed
Willing to help others find ways to engage in real self-care?
Leave a comment with something on your list.